November 13, 2009
As I’m thinking about this new routine I want, I’m trying to keep the challenges in mind. Maybe planning for those ineveitable road blocks will help. While anything unexpected can turn into a “challenge” for a planner like me, I am trying to look at the main challenges I see.
Separating work and personal lives. Working long hours at home makes it hard to stop working sometimes. It’s easy to look at those toys and decide they need cleaned and switched out for others at 7 pm on a Thursday night. Because you really wanted to do it last weekend. Knowing the baby is teething and the toddlers are crabby with colds can mean you fix a casserole tonight for lunch tomorrow so you don’t have to be in the kitchen too much tomorrow. Feeling like you work all the time is a definite recipe for burn out. And it sucks the fun out of family time.
Indulging in time wasters to escape. I could watch tv all evening every evening. Easily. I love shows like CSI and the Mentalist, Criminal Minds, Cold Case…you get the idea. I also like sitcoms. I’m not much for reality tv, thank goodness. So you can see that this is a great way to escape. And I have a partner in crime too, since my hubby loves tv as much or more. I can also waste untold hours online. Think of what I could accomplish if I just turned off the tv and did something. I will say that I’ve made a small stride in the right direction. I refuse to watch any of the new shows out this season (except Accidentally on Purpose because I loved Dharma & Greg) and so Tuesday evenings are totally open.
Not having clear goals. Without a clear map of what I want to do and when it is easy to stumble through the days, feeling more on top of things some and clueless others.
Unpredictable things that fall into the day (and usually involve kids). Planning a lovely evening of a fun project after a nice dinner isn’t going to matter when one kid comes home with a page of science experiments that need completed by tomorrow and the other really wants to go to the basketball game in an hour. Or your husband calls to say that he forgot he had a meeting that evening. Or the kids were monkeys all day and you’ve had no quiet time at all to catch up on the mess. There are just going to be times when you need a Plan B.
November 4, 2009
To make this a more thoughtful process, I suppose I should look at my expectations for a new routine. What is it I truly want to accomplish? What is important to me? Really, what are my goals?
I want to feel some sense of control. Do you ever have that feeling like you are bouncing from thing to thing? You start one project and all of a sudden you can’t remember the last time you watered the plants? Sometimes I feel like I’m living my own If You Give a Pig a Pancake book. Maybe something like If You Give a Mom a Mission. I’m looking to avoid that feeling.
It is important that I find a realistic balance. The perfectionist in me tends to fall into the all or nothing camp. So much piles up because I just don’t have time to do it properly. This is where the daily challenges come in handy. I feel like I accomplished something without over-planning it. I want to be able to have a more relaxed attitude about housework.
Making room for fun is an extension of that realistic balance. I think my family would appreciate that.
So I hope to set up some morning, work & evening routines that put a rhythm in my days. In the coming days I’ll take a look at the challenges I face and how to combat those challenges. I’ll also look at what has worked in the past. Maybe next week this time I’ll be starting some new routines. Wouldn’t that be something!
I’d love to hear what has worked for you. How do you strike a balance between work & play?
November 3, 2009
When I feel a pull to simplify I sometimes reread the Laura Ingalls books. Flipping channels on TV can sometimes land me on Leave It To Beaver, wondering how I’m going wrong to not have my act together like June.
While it’s certainly OK to feel drawn to another era, I think it is also important to remember that some of those depictions we’re so familiar with are no doubt romanticized. Do you really think Caroline would see her life the way we do? How about June? So, what about that friend that always looks like she has it together? Would she say so?
Some of these comparisons I make to iconic homemakers of the past are beginning to look like a cross-era “keeping up with the Joneses” and I’m not sure I’m happy about that. The message is clear: trying to keep up with the Joneses is a futile exercise, both expensive and inauthentic.
So can it also be said that using famous homemakers of the past is similarly complicated? Can it cause undo stress and frustration? I’m beginning to think so.
I don’t think it is in my best interest to compare myself to anyone else. In fact Galatians 6:4 says:
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.
So I’ll forge ahead on my own. Trying to learn from past homemakers without trying to duplicate their lives. Learning the concepts and making them my own. Using what works for a particular season and leaving the rest behind. Maybe some of what doesn’t fit now will seem just right during the next season of my life.
The hardest part will be doing this without comparing my success, without looking through those rose-colored glasses at past examples. They aren’t me, so I can’t be them. And that needs to be OK.
November 2, 2009
A new month is here and I have high hopes for a great start to the Holiday season. This month, I hope to get a new routine established for myself. I enjoy my role as home-maker and I enjoy working with the kids in my child care, but I’ll be honest…sometimes it is crazy having people here, coming and going, upwards of 55 hours a week. Balancing my own family schedule on top of that adds more juggling. When I’ve got a rhythm to my days, both in housework and child care, I am much happier.
Over the summer I took a long road trip with my mom, then just a couple weeks later I took off another week to spend with my husband and kids. Since mid-August I can’t seem to find my rhythm for more than a few days.
I’ve been thinking about it in the context of the person who plateaus with their fitness goals. The recipe for continued success is often to shake things up. It is said that our bodies get used to a certain routine and so results slow down.
Can this happen with our daily routines too? Do we get so used to the routine that we get lax about getting things done? Do we find subtle changes in our lives that make parts of our old routine ineffective?
Since September I’ve been relaxing my schedule & expectations a bit. I am getting things done in fits and starts. Not as satisfying as I’d like. I’ve been following along with 100 days to Christmas, Organized Christmas, Home Sanctuary and a bit of FlyLady. I like the spontaneity of the daily challenges that each put forth.
I used to be a faithful FlyLady follower…I made up my own Zone checklists in a postcard size and along with my customized weekly checklist I would stay on track. I liked knowing that my whole house got some cleaning attention each month. It was very good while it lasted. I want some of that back.
So for now I plan to work in the FlyLady zone of the week, do some of the other daily challenges out there and try to fit in some regular exercise. I know it seems like a lot to bite off right before the holidays but I think a new routine in place will actually contribute to a more relaxed holiday season.
Follow along…I’ll be blogging what I’m trying and how it’s going. I also plan to do a weekly post on things I’m thankful for because it is almost Thanksgiving.
October 29, 2009
The question asked? How do you save money.
I have two answers…both of them simple. At least on the surface.
Using cash for daily/regular expenses like groceries, gas and household items has saved us tons of money! I talked about it here.
Today though I would have to say waiting is on the top of my list. Let’s face it…instant gratification is expensive.
All too often it is easy to run out and buy that thing you ran out of today. Oh no! I don’t have any chili powder! So off to the store I go. Hmm, look at those sale prices. I better get a few other things. There goes $20. Ask me when I used the $2 chili powder. Couple weeks later. Didn’t use the other things right away either. Was the time and money involved in that trip worth it? A few years ago I would’ve said yes. Those are necessities so its good I ran out to buy them.
That was then. This is now. In SmallTown things changed.
Today I made chili. When looking for the chili powder I remembered that I used it all last month. Guess I forgot to put it on my grocery list. No worries though. I substituted some other spices and it was good. Now chili powder is on my list for my next trip out-of-town. I talked about my two list system a while back. Having a second list full of items that can wait has helped me really evaluate needs. Because not all needs are equal.
And here is a story that still makes me laugh…it shows that even with cash I sometimes wait. Just because I’m stubborn like that.
There are more frugal tips over at Life as MOM for Frugal Friday…check it out!
October 24, 2009
Taken on a gloomy Saturday a few weeks ago on a drive through one of the MN state parks.
Outside is gloomy and wet, my house is not very tidy and I’m trying to be ok with that. The perfectionist in me always thinks she should be cleaning or doing something productive. The rest of me gets a little sick of her.
Today I got the one main thing on my list crossed off. Mail (belated) birthday gifts to relatives.
And then I spent a few hours feeding my creative side. I played with my new cartridge for my Cricut and made cards for family. Then I put the kids’ school pictures in those cards and even mailed most of them. I also sprayed an old metal tray with chalkboard paint. Chalkboard paint always makes me happy! I went to the coffee shop for a yummy chai tea and even checked out a gift shop that is closing on Monday…there were good deals but I only bought one small gift for a friend for Christmas. Then I had to visit the other gift shops neighboring that one. There were a lot of cute things but I resisted. Last stop was the thrift store. I bought a valance that I think I’ll make into an apron, a metal bucket that hangs on the wall (and promptly painted that with my chalkboard paint too) and another small piece of material that I liked and think I can put to use. Total for today (other than postage) was only $10. Not bad. And then I went and worked out for half an hour on the treadmill.
I feel pretty lazy. No cleaning. No cooking. Can you believe my kids scrounged around for their own lunches and I made pizza rolls for me and my man for lunch? Lame but true. And this is the point in the day where I fight the guilt over not accomplishing anything today. But if I look at what I did do…a few things got accomplished.
I’m still learning to relax and just enjoy doing my own thing sometimes. It’s kind of fun.
Now I’m going to go make some supper for the kids. Although driving home from the community center had me eyeing Subway, I’ll make some soup and sandwiches here. And then I’ll maybe curl up with a book I’ve been reading.
So tell me, am I the only one who fights the GUILT? What are your tips for enjoying a lazy day?
October 22, 2009
I wrote recently about my accident prone kids here. What I didn’t say is that no one was truly surprised by our series of events that happened so close together.
Examples? Oh yeah, I got examples.
My kids went to grandma’s for a few days. The boy came home without his glasses. That was 6 weeks ago and we’ve given up hope that they’ll turn up. I think they got thrown away at a movie theater where he’d taken them off to put on the 3D glasses. About a month later my husband and daughter spent a weekend away for a mini hunting trip. She came back without her glasses. The hotel did have them turned in. Someone found them in the parking lot. They had been run over. Thankfully the case took the brunt of it and they could be bent back into shape. This time.
Two weeks prior to my son breaking his teeth I received a call from the nurses’ office at school. He had hurt his arm playing kickball and she wasn’t sure if it might be broken. It wasn’t, but what was funny was that the next day at flag football practice a teacher who is a friend of ours asked Dan if Stanley had been the kid who got hurt at kickball. Dan confirmed that it was indeed our boy. Apparently she heard that a boy had gotten hurt and asked if it was “Stanley SmallTown” to which the others said that they didn’t think so but it was a Stanley…She said she nodded and told them that she was sure it was him then.
It’s nice to have folks know who you are…especially when you are relatively new to that town. But really? Is this how we want to be known? As THAT family?
Kristen is having a great Blogoversary Carnival over at her place, We are THAT Family. Check out the fun stories!
