Closing a Door

Sometimes you have to close a door so you won’t jump out the window.  That’s how I’ve been feeling lately about a volunteer role I have had the last couple of years.   And I’m closing the door on it.

Tonight Grace and I had the year-end ceremony for this organization.  I made the decision Monday that I would be done.  I told a couple of close friends.  I spoke with the few people it truly, directly affects but  I refused to share the decision with everyone tonight at the ceremony.  I don’t want accolades or people persuading  me to stay on.  I didn’t do that great a job…mostly it’s one of those jobs no one else really wants.

I have mixed feelings tonight.  I know I will stand by my decision, but the emotions of the evening are bittersweet.  Seeing the faces of all the girls at the ceremony talk about the fun they’ve had all year, seeing the growth we’ve had in the last 12-18 months.  I was proud, yet had little to do with it.  I started to think, “next year…” and then remembered.  I won’t have a next year in this role.  I think Grace will still be involved, with another volunteer heading up things.  It will be good that way.

Sometimes the paperwork and red tape in organizations can make life anything but simple.  Sometimes trying to coordinate events among 8 women and 55 girls is anything but simple.  When I started to notice that my free time & even family time was spent feeling like I should be catching up on work for this volunteer role, I knew I needed a change.

I’ll be back to being wife, mother & child care provider.  I think that simple change will be nice.  Very nice.

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